It’s around this time of the year that my mind feels most
like a cool, deep lake; a place where there is plenty of sustenance and the
clarity is remarkably inviting. I say this because I had the distinct pleasure
to attend Camp Emmanuel, a Greek Orthodox youth camp, for my twelfth year. It
was my fifth year as a staff member, and I cannot even begin to put in words
the appreciation and admiration I have for this program. As it heads towards
midnight here, I have two choices…. I can feebly attempt to explain my thoughts,
or I can let them go to waste as the hours go by. I chose to write this in
hopes that when I am old and grey, my memory of camp will never fade.
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Really, none of us are born lost. We are all born in communion with
God. We have no choice of it…. What we do choose in our lives is every
subsequent step we take away from God; from the point of our births to our
deaths. The thing that makes camp such a resonating life experience is that it
is one of the few places on this earth in which we remind ourselves just how
much we miss God in our day-to-day existences. We remind ourselves that no
matter how fleeting and distant our meetings with one another are, they are
somehow the most important relationships that we have in our lives. We love
being faithful to God much more than the alternative, and in doing so, we love
each other through God.
One of my biggest fears in this world is the having the
feeling that "I am alive--- but so what?" It’s a rare kind of fear that, instead
of inhibiting your actions, it forces you to extend yourself to become
something greater than yourself. I’m not sure if I’ll ever become whatever it
is that I think I need to be, but I do know that I have the chance to
mean something to someone else through this camp program. Camp isn’t somewhere
that I go to recharge my spiritual battery. It’s not like I try to live a life in
which only one week of the year is focused on being a true Christian. Instead,
Camp Emmanuel gives me hope that I can make something out of my life, and that
by God’s grace, I can do it in a Christian manner.
Unfortunately, mine is one of the first generations raised
without God. My contemporaries live in a world with strong religious impulses,
but with nowhere to channel them. I see
people struggle with loneliness and aimlessness all the time, and I thank God
that I have The Faith to direct me through life. The Church guides me, and most
importantly, it gives me hope that I can be a person of great faith.
Furthermore, the Church gives me hope that I am not in the
thick of this life alone. I’ve never been good at telling people how I feel
about much of anything because it makes me feel unguarded and awkward, but the
sentiments I have about my faith and everything it has given me are nearly
impossible for me to hide. It would be an injustice of massive proportions to even try. My secret
is that I yearn for God, and there are moments when I know that I can no longer
make it on my own. Camp Emmanuel, and all of those who have aided in its ministries,
has shown me that we are all communal in our needs and experiences. It’s a
breath of fresh air, and it’s enough to keep me fighting the best way I know
how.
When most people hear
about others talk about their heroes, the feeling must often be lost in clichéd phrases
and sentiments. Every time I hear someone talk about their heroes, I smile
knowing that I have more heroes than most people will ever know. In fact, I
think the word "hero" devalues how I feel about the people who I have come to
know and love through camp. Every clergy member, every camp director, every
staff member, and every friend that I have come to know at Camp Emmanuel has
become a saint in my life; A champion of The Faith. I mean that from the very bottom
of my heart. To know that there are people in this world that pray for you is
one of the most comforting feelings there is. When I think of the people who I
have come to know through The Church, I can’t believe how blessed I am. I know
that I’ll be 80 years old one day and still laughing and telling stories about
my friends and family that I have made at camp. You’ll never know how many
lives you can change with your own.
In a perfect world I’ll have the chance to show my personal saints just how much they have
changed me for the better.
But really, the most remarkable testament to the importance
that Camp Emmanuel has played in my life is how it has changed me. It has changed me into wanting to continue its legacy and ministries to the youth of the Metropolis. I may be twenty-three years old now, and
beyond the years of a camper, but I cannot deny or turn away from the place
that has molded me into the person that I now have the potential to be.
Maybe I’m just a kid
who can’t face growing up, but all I know is that I love camp with all of my
heart. As long as it will have me, I will always have something to give to Camp
Emmanuel.
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We all have our place. Camp Emmanuel is mine….. and it’s all
of ours.
